Being Blaine Anderson
by IceCreamGuitar
Summary: The stress of Kurt leaving him for NYADA will send Blaine down some paths he never thought he'd take... It starts out pretty calm, but it'll get into some more mature subjects.
1. Chapter 1

Being Blaine Anderson  
Chapter 1

_June 29__th__, 2012_

The summer day had been hot. Not a dry kind of hot either, it was a humid heat. The Hummels had their air conditioners on blast and Blaine Anderson was grateful for that. Despite the cool air flowing and the tank top he had wisely chosen to wear today, he still found himself forced to wipe off his forehead as he carried the last cardboard box down the stairs and placed it by the doorway. The pile they had formed was a combination of many things…it was predominantly suitcases, with boxes in the mix full of decorations, bedding supplies, and other assorted living necessities. There were also the things that Kurt had wanted out of his room without taking it with him, and those were off in another, but noticeably smaller, pile.  
"Thanks for helping me bring my stuff down, Blaine.~" Blaine heard a familiar, singsong voice behind him and it put a small smile on his face. An arm slipped over his shoulder and the smell of Kurt's daily perfume choice with an underlying scent of hairspray and moisturizer hit him. It was a comforting smell and he turned himself into it, facing the boy he loved so much. Kurt was perfect in every way. Kurt was also moving to New York City. Blaine hated the fact that he had to share this jewel of his with the world already, but he had been gritting his teeth and bearing it for the sake of Kurt's happiness. The bright smile on Kurt's face managed to comfort him a little. Just a little.  
"It's no problem. You know there's nothing else I'd rather do." Blaine said back to him. "Is that all of it?"  
"That's all of it. It just needs packed into the van, and I'm sure dad will take care of that." Kurt answered, taking his arm away to patrol around the boxes and bags, taking a mental inventory. It looked like a lot to Blaine, but he supposed Kurt was taking his whole life with him. _Everything but me.  
_ "Kurt, can you come in here real fast? It doesn't look like I did these mashed potatoes right." Burt Hummel's voice came from the kitchen. Kurt looked up and sighed.  
"Always kitchen problems…thank goodness for Carole or he'd eat cereal all the time. I'll be right back." Kurt said, kissing Blaine's cheek as he passed by on his way to the kitchen. Blaine just nodded, watching the boy disappear through the doorway. Blaine turned away from the door, heading back to the stairs that he had been carrying boxes down for the past hour. He headed up it slowly, hand running over the railing.  
_"Blaine, no, we'll break the stairs!" Kurt's giggling whispers broke out from beneath Blaine's lips, breaking off the kiss that Blaine had been so focused on. The only thing that lit up the stairwell of the Hummel household was the 1 AM moonlight that shone through the window, casting a soft white glow on Kurt's porcelain skin. Blaine had pushed Kurt up against the railing of his staircase and their lips had collided and it was like nothing else existed. Only Kurt's voice and the hands on his chest pushing him gently brought him back to earth.  
_ Blaine kept walking, reaching the top of the stairs and heading down the hall. The halls were decorated with various family portraits, many of Kurt in his younger days. They were cute and Blaine gave them all a glance as he passed by. Blaine regretted not meeting Kurt sooner…they would have had more time. Blaine reached the end of the hall where Kurt's bedroom door was half ajar. He pushed it open gently, standing in the doorway of what once was one of his favorite places to be. It was a shell. The shelves were empty. The closet, which had always been brimming with clothes, was empty. The only thing that remained was the lingering scent of Kurt and the bed, which was now stripped of the silk sheets that Blaine had always gotten so comfortable in.  
Blaine walked further in, sitting down on the barren bed. He gripped to the edge of the mattress, barely able to stand the emptiness that taunted hm. He knew Kurt had tried to comfort him all he could…but there was only so much comfort that Kurt could bring. It didn't change the fact that Kurt would be leaving and having a whole new life, and there wouldn't be comfort anymore. Blaine would only know Kurt through brief visits and a computer screen. Blaine knew it was only for a year, but the year extended out in front of him and rested on his mind like an execution sentence. It felt like the year that his world was going to end. Maybe it really was.  
Blaine got to his feet, heading quickly out of the empty room. It was overwhelming and he just couldn't take it anymore. He quickly rushed down the stairs, not laying a finger on the railing. He skipped the last stair, turning to head towards the front door. Kurt was just emerging from the kitchen doorway at that time, seeing Blaine making a bolt for the door.  
"Blaine…? Blaine!" Blaine hadn't looked at him. He could hear Kurt's voice faintly behind him as he shut the door and headed down the driveway. He knew he'd be back at that house at least one more time…Kurt wasn't leaving for three more days and Blaine would never miss the day he had to tell him goodbye, no matter how badly he wanted to. But for now, just for a little while, he had to be alone.


	2. Chapter 2

Being Blaine Anderson  
Chapter 2

_August 2__nd__, 2012_

It was three days later and Blaine found himself right back at the Hummel household. After many frantic texts from Kurt trying to get ahold of him, Blaine had replied and they had patched things up slightly. It was enough for Kurt to be at his going away party and not feel awkward. A lot of people were there. There were the Glee kids, of course, and then there were even a few Warblers that had come to wish Kurt well in his adventure to NYADA. Blaine was keeping close to Kurt, keeping a protective arm around Kurt's waist no matter where the boy wandered in the room. It was hitting Blaine hard that this was these were the very last hours that things would be even close to normal and he never wanted to let go. Kurt seemed to sense that in Blaine and never complained, just keeping close to his side and making sure Blaine was included in the conversation. And for a while, that was pretty nice for Blaine.  
The discomfort started when Kurt had settled down on the couch with Rachel. Blaine was sitting on the other side of Kurt, an arm still around his shoulder, but Kurt's focus was entirely on Rachel. Rachel would be leaving for New York City with Finn the next day, and their conversation consisted of exciting predictions about what New York would be like and where they would hang out. This caused Blaine to shut down. He hated hearing all of this and he was hoping that they could keep off of the topic and pretend it wasn't going to happen. Still, his arm stayed around Kurt's shoulder, trying to focus on the feel of his shoulders under his arm instead of the conversation. He wanted to try to memorize the feel of Kurt against him so he could recall it whenever he wanted, and he unconsciously gripped a little tighter onto Kurt's shoulder. Kurt noticed this, pausing the conversation and looking over to Blaine curiously.  
"Blaine, are you okay?" Kurt asked softly, resting a hand on Blaine's leg. Blaine blinked out of his thoughts, looking to Kurt.  
"Hm? Oh…yeah, I'm as fine as I can be right now…" He said in return. Kurt watched him for a moment then looked over to Rachel.  
"Excuse us for a moment, please." Kurt said to Rachel. Rachel looked confused for a moment, but then glanced over to Blaine and nodded a bit, her expression becoming a little more understanding. Kurt got to his feet, taking Blaine's hand and pulling him up off the couch. He took Blaine out of the living room, into the hallway for a more secluded place to talk. Kurt turned to face Blaine.  
"Blaine…nothing's going to end. This is going to be so good for me in the end…so good for us. We're going to have an amazing life, but we have to make some sacrifices first…next year at NYADA, I'll make sure that I request for you as my roommate, I promise. And then everything will be okay again." Kurt said to him, resting a soft hand on Blaine's cheek gently. Blaine gazed down at his boy, trying his hardest to believe everything that Kurt was saying. It all seemed like fantasy, like it was so far away. _How does he know I even want to go to NYADA…?_  
"I know, Kurt, I know…but…it's still rough." Blaine said with a small smile, moving a hand up to place it over Kurt's hand. "I'll be fine, Kurt. I'll make it. It's just a year." Blaine forced the optimism into his voice, and that seemed to be enough for Kurt.

This seemed like some sort of cruel torture. They were all outside, and Burt had packed Kurt's last bag into the van. Blaine was standing beside the passenger side of the van and Kurt was in his arms, hugging him tightly. He hugged Kurt in return, burying his face into Kurt's shoulder. It took all he had in him not to burst out crying. He knew he had to let go eventually, but he didn't want to, and Kurt had to slowly coax him out of the hug. Kurt looked up at him, holding onto Blaine's hands.  
"I'll text you constantly the entire way there, okay…? Take care of everything for me." Kurt said softly to Blaine, leaning up to kiss him on the lips. Blaine closed his eyes, kissing him in return. The kiss filled a deep pit of longing in his stomach, causing his insides to twist and turn and his eyes threatening to water again. The soft fingers slipped from his and Kurt was climbing into the passenger side of the van. Blaine stepped back a few feet, until the only way he could see Kurt was the reflection on the passenger side mirror. Once the van drove away, Blaine couldn't see any of Kurt at all. Kurt was gone. Someone came up behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder.  
"It's okay, Blaine…" Rachel said softly, squeezing his shoulder gently. "When I get to New York, I'll force Kurt to call you every single day. He won't get out of it." She said with a smile, looking up to the dark haired boy. Blaine didn't smile back.  
"Thanks…" He said in return, brushing off the hand. "I think I'll go home now. I have…some summer work to do." Blaine said softly, digging out his car keys as he walked away. It was partially true, he did. He was planning to get an application to reapply to Dalton. Maybe if he went back to where it all began, it wouldn't be so bad.


End file.
